On my Facebook page, if you scroll down, you’ll find my favorite Flair button. It’s a cat, yowling “Why?!”
All weekend, a part of me has been yowling that same question. Why? Because I received another rejection to line my locker. I know it’s only one. I know I can submit elsewhere, and I did, post haste. Still, the question nags. Why, oh why, am I doing this to myself? So, I’m going to apply one of the activities of my and Ann Charles‘ workshop “Diapers To Deadlines: Find Time to Write–No Matter WHAT!”
It’s the five why rule of psychology.
1. Amber, why do you write?
Because Johanna Lindsey novels gave me an escape from awful teen years growing up in a toxic, unstable household with an uncertain future. Fiction gives me solace.
Because I want to matter. I want to be relevant, to be able to hold my head high and know all those people who thought I was nothing were wrong.
Because I fear they were right. Worse. Because I fear no one ever thought such a thing. I fear I think I am nothing.
Because deep, deep down in my belly, beneath the fear, I love writing. I love drowning into a daydream. I love the thrill and joy and satisfaction that comes with wowing a reader. And when I do, when I can make my hard to win over Critique Partner race to read Irish Moon’s next chapter, when I hear a story I wrote, like Jessie’s Girl, opened doors, none of the other why’s matter. I know down to my soul that this is what I love, this is where I am most myself.
The pleasure is worth the pain.
And now I can sigh in relief, instead of yowl in pain.
Once you know your core ‘why’, no amount of rejection will take you down. So, why do you write?