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Motivational Mondays: Procrastination

I was supposed to blog about procrastination last Monday. I put it off until Tuesday. Tuesday, since it wasn’t Motivational Monday, I readily dismissed as unsuitable. Now, I’m back to the same post theme, wondering why I didn’t put my thoughts up a week ago. And why I have butterflies doing so now.

I know why, though. Procrastination is fear in disguise.

What am I scared of? Using the technique outlined in Loving What Is by Byron Katie, let’s find out. The trick to this being really successful, is getting really petty. Here goes:

1. Who/what scares me? Rejection scares me. Looking like an idiot scares me. Blogging and finding not a single soul in the world cares what I have to say scares me. I’m miffed with myself for being shy when I am trained to motivate.

2. What do I want to change? How? I want blogging to be easier. I want more readers. I want my posts to be more popular and impactful. I don’t know how. If I did, I wouldn’t be so intimidated, now would I!?

3. What is it that I should or shouldn’t think, feel, do? I should stop worrying about what other people think. I shouldn’t need approval. I shouldn’t be so nervous about one silly post. I should just keep blogging, even if no one  likes them or cares. I should suck it up!! I shouldn’t avoid the inevitable!!

4. What do I need in order to not be scared, to be happy? I need an audience! I need to stop feeling desperate and insecure. I need some inspiration. I need to be clever and insightful and better at this!

5. What do I think of me procrastinating? I think it’s immature. I think I should know better than to worry about approval, the surest way to never get it. I think it’s annoying and I’m above avoiding things in life. I think it’s insecurity.

6. What is it that I never want to experience again? Naked vulnerability. Rejection. That feeling of being the last kid picked for kickball. Feeling like a talentless, desperate hack.

Now for the Inquiry part. I ask of my answers, the following:

1. Is it true? Yes!!!!!

2. Can I absolutely know it’s true? I’m pretty sure!!!!!!!

3. How do I react when I think each thought? Awful. I get icky belly. I get sweaty. I want to hide out and bury my nose in a book and never come up for air.

4. Who am I without each thought? I’m me. Free and full of dreams and passion and drive and courage.

Now, for the Turnaround. I take each thought and consider if it’s exact opposite could also be equally true or truer:

Approval scares me. Looking like an expert scares me. Blogging and finding every soul in the world cares what I have to say, scares me. I’m happy with myself for being confident when I am trained to motivate. I want blogging to be harder. I want less readers. I want my books to be more popular and impactful. I do know how. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be so confident, now would I!? (Should=arguing with reality. Who is to say should or should not of anything or anyone in the grand scheme? I should start worrying about what other people think. I shouldn’t need rejection. I should be so nervous about one silly post. I shouldn’t just keep blogging, even if no one  likes them or cares. I shouldn’t suck it up!! I should avoid the inevitable!!) I want an audience! I want to stop feeling desperate and insecure. I have inspiration. I am clever and insightful and better at this! I don’t think it’s immature. I think I should know better than to not worry about rejection, the surest way to always get it. I think it’s satisfying and I’m not above avoiding things in life. I don’t think it’s insecurity.  I do want to feel naked vulnerability. Approval. That feeling of being the first kid picked for kickball. Feeling like a talented, brilliant author.

Now I ask, could these be just as true? Yep. And the butterflies, one by one, flutter away. This exercise can exorcise every doubt demon. Give it a try.

:}Amber Scott



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About Amber Scott Project

Amber Scott writes romance across time and genre with three things in common: fate, love and complications. You can find her erotica titles at www.LiquidSilverBooks.com.

5 responses »

  1. Hi Amber,
    Oh. oh. oh. To be vulnerable and out there. And to be brave enough to say out loud what we really want. It’s hard, hard, hard. And you are brave, brave, brave. Write on!

    Reply
  2. I have several gold medals in procrastination. I am an all-time champion. Still. I kind of like procrastination, because in some ways, it pays dividends now as well as later. Because not all procrastination is fear-motivated.

    However, the procrastination created by fear rarely pays any dividends at all, and it’s a procrastination I don’t like. I overcome it in a variety of ways, and I like your in-depth approach, but I don’t always have time to psych myself up. So, in those stress situations that demand fast action, I remind myself of this: all you need is 10 seconds of boldness. That’s it, 10 seconds.

    Take those 10 seconds, and you can spend the other 50 seconds shuddering, but in those 10 seconds of boldness you will have: hit ‘send’; put the query in the mail; said, “would you like to go out with me?”; typed the first line; typed the last line; posted the article; said, “Hi, my name is”; and so on.

    The worst, the ABSOLUTE worst that can happen is someone says, “Not for me”, in whatever way they, personally, happen to say it.

    But the best that can happen? That makes all the worsts just sort of fade away…and after a while you’ll find that you can follow up 10 seconds of boldness with another 10 seconds, and then another, and so on, until the boldness becomes more natural than the fear.

    And if the boldness never becomes more natural than the fear? Doesn’t matter. ‘Cause all you need is 10 seconds of boldness at any given time.

    Reply
    • amberscottproject

      I love this! It falls in line with my favorite accidental advice from Wanndy, “Grow a Pair!” Now, I can add, “even for just 10 seconds.”

      Reply
  3. Donna Del Grosso

    Hello Ladies!
    Glad to know I’m not the only one with all these feelings. I also procrastinate daily… for many of those reasons and some of my own. I tend to think in the future a lot. As in… “What if they do like it?”
    I like the 10 second rule, Gini. And if you’re really in a pinch you can take it down to an instant. The instant you decide to “grow a pair”

    Reply

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