Since PlayFling is meant to by a romantic comedy, as part of my editor role, I’m reading a book on comedic writing. The first chapter offers an exercise. Share your most embarrassing moment, as an attempt to be funny. So, here’s mine:
Being seated at the center cluster of desks did not help me overcome my ten year old shyness. I was in the middle of a math exercise when the fart ballooning my tummy moved lower. Lower still. Creaking like the Titantic down to my bottom. The pressure began to build. The squeeze your cheeks now or it’s going to blow kind of pressure. I squeezed. Hard. Tight. Tighter. My paramour, the love of my life, Scott was sitting a mere two desks away. Please God, I prayed. Not here, not now. If I moved a muscle it would surely blast out of me in a rumble that would send my classmates under their desk for an earthquake drill. What could be worse? As it turns out, the long high pitch whistle of a squeak that leaked out no matter how hard I clenched was worse. It went on until Summer break, it shattered the glass windows and I can only imagine the paint peeling off the walls from the putrid smell that followed because I refused to look up. No, do not look up.
I don’t know how but by some saving grace I was allowed to come back to school the next day. A wall of silence went up and to this day, no witnesses have broken that wall until I have, now.
So…whatcha think? Am I funny yet?